How to write (awesome) wedding vows

Let me talk about one specific part of your ceremony that you may or may not have been thinking about:

Your vows.

There's a good chance, when it comes to writing or sharing personal vows, you fall into one of these 3 categories:

1. Heck yes we're writing our own.

2. No chance, not in a million years.

3. I'm doing my best not to think about this part.

Now, I'm not here to convince you one way or another, but here are my thoughts on vows.

I think writing (and sharing) vows is one of the most impactful things you will do.

It's wild, really. Like when else do you stand in front of the person you're committing your life to and tell them all the ways you promise to make them and your marriage your number one priority for the rest of your lives? It's not something you do every day, right? And I think that's exactly why it's so powerful. And I think sharing them in front of your closest people carries weight. And believe me, I get it; speaking in front of a group of people isn't everyone's favourite thing in the world, little alone sharing how much you love that person. But I've never performed a ceremony where the couple told me afterward they wish they hadn't written and shared their own vows. Hasn’t happened, because writing and sharing vows is such a fun and powerful thing to do.

Let me give you 5 tips to start writing your vows, 5 tips on sharing them.

5 tips on getting started...

1. Don't worry about how long they are, just write until they feel done (but if you need to know a number, I'd say the majority are between 2-3 minutes), and don’t worry if they’re the same as your partners (too many couples think they should sound similar, they don’t need to. You’re different people who likely write and communicate differently - that’s a strength. (Lean into that).

2. No need to over-edit them, in fact, less editing always retains more emotion (reread them and make any grammatical changes, but keep the majority of it intact, less polished sounds more authentic).

3. Write how you speak, don't use fluff or words that you don't normally say (this kind of relates to the previous point, if you over-edit.- you'll thesaurus words to make it sounds prettier. You're not getting graded on this, so don't worry how professional or pretty your word choice is, keep it real).

4. No one is judging you for your vows, they're between the two of you, so don't worry about what others think (although you're sharing these in front of other people, they're still written for each other, so don't worry about trying to make them universally funny for your guests).

5. Start soon-ish. You for sure won’t need more than 30 minutes to write them but I promise 2 things: 1. these are easier to write than you might think, and 2. they get progressively more difficult to write the closer to your wedding day you get.

6. 
   

5 tips for sharing them...

1. No need to memorize them (in fact, I normally discourage memorizing them because it can be such a daunting thing).

2. Have them written down. When you write them/print them, have them in a large font and spacd out nicely so it's easy to find your place when you look up at your partner and then back down at your page. You can also send them to me to print and I can provide a A5 folder to keep them in at the ceremony, so they are easily accessible and clear.

3. Before you start sharing them, take a deep breath, and on that note, just know it's ok to pause or take a second if you need it, there's no rush. Take your time.

4. Remember: this is the best part of the entire ceremony, but don't worry about trying to perfect this moment, let it happen and enjoy every second of it.